


Sleep

by Nidpogg



Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-26
Updated: 2020-09-26
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:42:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26661637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nidpogg/pseuds/Nidpogg
Summary: Estinien is reminiscing about how he found out the Warrior of Light can't sleep.(i write fanfiction for fun. idk if this is good or not but i dont think i really care. also i wrote this over several weeks and did not read it for errors just enjoy it ok)
Relationships: Warrior of Light/Estinien Wyrmblood
Comments: 2
Kudos: 28





	Sleep

His mind was a swirling tempest of anger, rage, grief, and pain. Nidhogg's possession had ripped through his every muscle, tore at every nerve and scratched every fiber of himself. His mind was both sharper and full. The pain that spiked through his head was almost unbearable. He was glad to be rid of the Drake’s soul, but the recovery process seemed so intimidating now. At least the bed Aymeric had prepared for him was comfortable. He sank into the mattress just enough. The blankets were warm and soft. The pillows were a perfect firmness. If not for the extreme pain coursing through every inch of his body, he’d be in heaven. 

His eyes closed slowly and lazily. Although he was exhausted, sleep would not come. Immediately after the Warrior of Light had saved him, the sleep had come easily and without stop. But after so many days of focusing on nothing but recuperating, his body betrayed him and no longer allowed him the privilege of dreaming. It was so boring now. He’d spent some time in bed reading books. It got old very fast for him. He wasn’t adverse to educating himself, but it wasn’t his number one way of spending his time. All he did now was wait for Aymeric, Alphinaud or the Warrior of Light herself to visit him. Aymeric was often too busy nowadays. He never would specify exactly what was going on, but Estinien could glean that there was some kind of unhappiness out in the city. But Aymeric insisted that Estinien just rest. And with all the people running about taking care of him, it would have been hard to even try to get up if he wanted to. 

He often spent his time reminiscing. His job was finished, yet some part of him still yearned for the heat of battle and the thrill of exploring lands he had never seen before. In particular, he thought back to the Churning Mists. He’d heard of a place like that before growing up, but to see it with his own two eyes was something completely different. His heart somewhat yearned to go back to that time, although it wouldn’t be for the best. Nidhogg was finally gone, and that’s all that really mattered in the end. But those nights with Ysayle, Alphinaud, and the Warrior of Light had begrudgingly become something he treasured. The heat of the battle mixed with the camaraderie he eventually started to feel. 

He struggled to admit it, but it wasn’t always camaraderie. Sure, he couldn’t stand what Ysayle wanted for the world, but he even felt a companionship with her after all the battles they had shared. No, it was the Warrior of Light for whom he was no longer sure he had ever felt camaraderie with. Who could ever know, for sure. Perhaps he had felt that way before he had seen her in battle. Perhaps one would fall in love with a fierce Warrior after seeing them fight gracefully, dancing about the battlefield with a kind of skillfully beauty never seen before. But no, Estinien fell for the raw power the Warrior of Light possessed. 

It wasn’t like him to ever rely on the strength of another person, but if there was anyone, it would be her. After all, if not for her, he would never have been freed from his scaly, thousand year old prison that was Nidhogg.

Although the Warrior of Light exhibited such extreme power, there too were times she let down her guard to Estinien. And these had made him even more infatuated than before.

~

Alphinaud and Ysayle lay in the grass a couple of feet apart. Alphinaud was sprawled out in front of the fire, snoring slightly with his hands still clutching a book he had been reading. Ysayle was a bit more put together than that. She almost made the ground seem comfortable the way she was laying. She must have slept countless nights on the ground throughout her various communications with the dragons here.  
The Warrior of Light sat on top of a dead tree trunk they had dragged over to their resting site. Her eyes lazily blinked as she peered into the fire. Estinien shifted a bit, his armor clinking slightly as he adjusted to get comfortable as well. He couldn’t help but steal glances at the Warrior. She seemed somewhat lost in thought.

“You should probably sleep. We'll be up and going as soon as the sun rises, you know.” He knew she knew that. That had been their past few days entirely. Running this way and that way to try and befriend the moogles, going back and forth to speak with dragons to try and understand their next move. He always fell asleep before her. The fire was usually enough to keep any wildlife away so shifts wasn’t needed. He never saw her go to sleep. He had awoken before her and she definitely was asleep by then—sometimes she was hard to wake. But he never saw her rest.

“I know.” The words were quiet and uninterested, her eyes still watching the flames licking over the are in front of her.

“Is… something wrong?’ Estinien looked back down at the ground between his feet. He felt like staring at her like that was inappropriate in some way. She leaned back a little and rolled her shoulders, a slight sigh escaping her mouth as she did so.

“I do hate to admit it…” She started. “But I have trouble sleeping.” A yawn betrayed her fatigue, and Estinien turned his head back to her and made eye contact. 

“I’m sure someone out there has some kind of tonic for that. They make plenty of sleeping medications for all kinds of people, I’m sure we could have grabbed some back in Ishgard—” But he was cut off.

“It’s not that I have trouble _getting_ to sleep,” She clarified. “It’s that, I’m rather afraid of what happens after I do.” She admitted. “Receiving Hydaelyn’s blessing was an amazing thing, and I’m very lucky to be her chosen champion. I’ve been afforded the ability and opportunity to save those in need and change this star for the better…” She drifted off for a moment and her eyes slowly returned back to the flames in front of her. 

“However… The Echo also affords me the ability to see memories. Either the memories of the people around me, or of the places I’ve been, or… just… lots of things. It fills my head with so many different things, sometimes I can’t take it.” Alphinaud twitched a bit, and the Warrior stoppee speaking. But once he rolled over and revealed himself to be still soundly asleep, she relaxed. Had she not confessed any of this to the Scion? Why then, was she confessing it to Estinien of all people? 

He’d always considered Hydaelyn's blessing just that—a blessing. He’d never thought there could be negative effects. But the Warrior looked so troubled. It must not have been easy.  
“I can’t sleep.” The Warrior continued. “My head hurts and my sleep is clouded with thoughts of old things. Memories that aren’t mine. Memories that are mine. The callings of the land, the words of Hydaelyn. I just… can’t sleep well.” Her voice was so sad. His heart was heavy with sympathy. How could a primal-defeating life-saving legendary hero of all save Ishgard on no sleep? And yet how she continued to fight every day in and day out.

He slid his helmet off and pushed away the strands of hair that lingered on his skin. He started to pull off his chest piece and other bits of armor to prepare for sleep. The Warrior looked confused. Estinien realized he’d been silent since she spoke. Truth be told, he had no idea what to say to her.  
“I’m…. Sorry.” His voice came out awkward and strange, and perhaps it cracked at one point. She giggled a bit. He felt a warmth spread across his chest hearing the small noise of laughter.

“It’s okay.” She assured him. “I’m terribly sorry for dumping all that on you.” She looked away. “I don’t really talk about any of this often, to be honest.” She looked back at the fire. He gazed down at his feet for a moment before speaking again.

“It must be hard being the hero. Unable to show weakness to anyone—for if you do, they fear for their futures. I suppose sometimes I understand that feeling, but certainly not on the level that you do.” His voice still sounded somewhat… uncomfortable. He wasn’t used to this kind of conversation.

“Yea, as if you’ve opened up to anyone in your life.” The Warrior teased. Estinien rolled his eyes and finished easing off his armor. He plopped himself down in the grass next to the fire. 

“You’ve a point. But sounds like you need it more than I.” He let out a small laugh. There was a pause, a silence. He figured she may be done with talking. His eyes closed.

“It must not be so easy to bear an eye of Nidhogg.” The warrior's voice cut through the silence, and somewhat cut through him. A pain shot through to his chest and he felt his muscles tighten, and slowly relax.

“Its not so bad.” He held back his tongue.  
“Should I be offended that you think I’m so stupid?” The warrior's tail flicked up and down—or so he assumed. He was pretty sure he heard it smack into the log she was sitting on.

“I thought perhaps you’d afford me the chance not to have this conversation.” He turned his head to the side and groaned. She was right. Battling back against Nidhogg's influence took a toll on him every day of his life. It got harder, and he could never let his mind falter. Her acknowledgment of it scared him a little. He was so affected by her words he feared the wyrm would swallow him up in a moment’s notice…  
But perhaps it was her blessing that kept him safe for now. The wyrm's crippling power had receded for the moment and what had been disturbed waters in his mind had calmed to a still pool. He wished he could soothe her in the same way.

“Of course I wouldn’t. If I wasn’t so forward, I wouldn’t be a legendary hero, would I?” He had to admit she had a point. He rolled over and faced his back to her and stayed silent. Perhaps his silence would suffice for declining the conversation. He didn’t want to talk about the suffering Nidhogg's eye had brought him, no matter even if her presence was quelling it. He could hear her shift a bit, and a dissatisfied mumble. He shifted slightly himself to get comfortable and relaxed his limbs. The ground wasn’t his first choice of place to sleep but he was no stranger and after a long day of running around for the moogles, this felt amazing.

He hadn’t even realized he’d fallen asleep. He awoke again not too long later to the sound of the Warrior yawning. He wasn’t one to usually wake up at the slightest of sounds, but it wasn’t completely out of the ordinary. He rolled, his eyes popping open for a moment. The Warrior lay in a patch of grass not too far away. Her eyes were still open, staring at the stars above them. He could see the fatigue in her gaze. How her body must have craved rest.

“You haven’t slept yet?” He spoke quietly.

“I have.” She clarified. “I see visions of Nidhogg.”

Was she taking the pain of the eye _for_ him? Could the echo steal the visions of Nidhogg right from his mind?

“…Come here.” He said. She looked confused, looking up at him from her spot.

“What do you mean…?” The Warrior pushed herself to a sitting position.  
“I.. well,” He searched for words that he didn’t have in him. The demand had risen from his chest and burst out his mouth before he’d had a moment to even think about what he actually wanted. He looked up at the Warrior and met eyes with her. There was… a look of understanding for a moment. She turned her head bashfully for a moment before scooting over and breaking their distance. He sighed in relief. He didn’t want to explain himself. Words weren’t his most strong suit.  
Once she was close enough, he wrapped an arm around her and pulled her body close to his. He wasn’t shy in the least about this. She didn’t flinch at his touch nor did she pull away and he took this as confirmation. He lied back down on the ground and gently pulled the Warrior with him. She rested her head on his arm and nestled her body close to his. Naturally, her aura body was a lot smaller than his. She must have either been slightly chilled or just generally enjoyed his body heat because she wrapped her arms around him and sighed in content once she had settled down.  
“You’re okay with this?” Her voice quietly broke the silence one more. He made a small noise with his throat to voice his ‘yes,’ and closed his eyes. His hand ran up and down the scales on her arm. His fingertip traced the shape of them and memorized their texture. Every now and then his finger would get to the end of the mass of scales and he would run his fingers along the edge of the scales, feeling both skin and scale at the same time. She fortunately didn’t seem to mind.  
Estinien was about to fall asleep. His mind was dulled and his body yearned for rest. But something tethered him back to the waking world if only for a moment.  
Snoring.  
The Warrior of Light was snoring.   
Estinien’s eyes lazily popped back open and he looked down to see the aura woman completely unconscious. He was so grateful. After hearing her plight, he had nothing but the urge to protect this aura woman. But he knew the truth—no one could protect her better than she herself. The Warrior of Light needed no protecting, especially not from Estinien. Being able to help her sleep, however, eased his desire slightly. If he could help in any way, he would. And he wasn’t adverse to this in general. He didn’t often make skin contact with anyone thanks to his being constantly in his armor. Not only that, he was so distanced from pretty much everyone. He wasn’t going to assume the distance between him and the Warrior had shortened by a great margin but if it had, he wasn’t sure how he’d feel. His heart raced a little as he pondered the subject.  
But dawn would break eventually and the azure dragoon knew he couldn’t slay dragons on only a couple of hours of sleep—or well, he didn’t want to. So he put his thoughts to the side, closed his eyes once more, and let himself snore as well.  
~

Many nights had passed along like that. Estinien had always made a point to wake earlier than the Warrior of Light and carefully slip out from her grasp. This was not always easy and not always achieved without waking the Warrior of Light herself, but he hadn’t wanted Alphinaud or Ysayle to wake and see. He didn’t want to give the wrong impression. Or perhaps some part of him did. But, for everyone’s sake it was better this way.

The Warrior of Light was grumpy each time he failed to slip away unnoticed, but she seemed to understand why as well. Alas, their attempts to keep it quiet eventually failed when Alphinaud had awoken to a sudden, early call from his linkpearl. Estinien had pretended to be asleep but with one eye slightly opened he watched the small elezen look on at the two in shock. 

A similar event had occurred with Ysayle a little later, but the woman was much smarter than Alphinaud and she didn’t seem surprised in the slightest. Nor did she care, Estinien figured. Perhaps Iceheart’s only fear was that the Warrior of Light would side with Estinien when deciding whether or not to kill Nidhogg. Estinien wished that were true, but he had no doubt the Warrior of Light’s resolve was stronger than any of the party present. If the Warrior of Light felt it necessary to give Nidhogg peace, she would not bend her will. Neither would Estinien.

But Estinien enjoyed these nights as they traveled. As he lay in bed, reminiscing over the times before Nidhogg had taken him, he heard a small creak at the door. He looked over.

“Aymeric, I am resting. If you’ve come to talk my head off about somethi—”

The familiar Aura woman stood there, her arms behind her back as she peered inside at Estinien. 

“Ah, it’s you.” Estinien moved himself to sit up. She raised a hand as though to say “no need.” She walked over to his bedside and pulled over a chair. 

“The Warrior of Light has time to visit little old me? I’m actually rather surprised.” He spoke with a joking tone, but he was completely serious. 

“Of course I do. I’ve been worried sick about you.” She admitted.

“I’m fine, albeit a bit bored. I’ll recover eventually but staying in this bed all day sure isn’t good for my spirit.” He gave an exasperated sigh and she nodded in understanding. 

“Is there anything I can do for you? I’d go to the ends of Eorzea to get you something that could make you more comfortable.” There was no hint of a joke in her voice and her eyes were full of determination. It was enough to make him chuckle. 

“No, I don’t think…” He paused, and gazed into the Warrior’s eyes for a moment.

“Actually, I do think there is one thing with which you can aid me. But I’ll ask that you lock the door.” He bit his tongue. That sounded a lot more heinous than he actually meant it. Of course, the Warrior raised a suspicious eyebrow.

“Now, I’m not so sure you’re well eno—”

“N-No,” He actually stuttered as he hurried to make himself clear. “I want you to join me in bed to sleep.” The words almost got caught in his throat. It wasn’t often they actually acknowledged the sleeping arrangement they had, and it had never gone further than just sleeping. Actually voicing this was somewhat odd for him. Though, once the Warrior grinned and rose from her seat, his worries were eased. She locked the door and blew out the lamp sitting on his bedside table.

She stood by the edge of the bed and raised her leg so that she may get onto the bed, but she hesitated.

“I worry I’ll hurt you—my added weight is going to shift the bed a bit while I get comfortable, and if I move around while I sleep I coul—”

He cut her off. “I don’t mind. I’m not a Child, I promise you I can deal with it.” He assured her. She still waited a moment to think it over, and then carefully got into bed with him. She wasn’t lying. Every movement of the bed as she got on top of it. He grit his teeth and tried his hardest not to make any noise. He worried if he betrayed the pain he felt that she might decide that she wouldn’t lay with him after all.

Thankfully, she eventually got comfortable and settled next to him. She refused to lay her head on his arm like she used to. He desperately wanted that, but she was probably right in doing so. His body ached so badly. She got close and gently rested an arm across him and pressed her body against his. He sighed in content once they were settled and still. Her body brought him extra warmth and he loved it. 

The sleep that had been eluding him so long slowly came close. He adjusted once more on the bed to get closer to her and ran his fingers over her scales. This time, it was her who brought him sleep rather than the opposite. Hopefully they’d be able to bring it to each other for a long time.


End file.
